“Social awareness may be defined as the individual’s ability to understand people, social incidents, and the processes involved in regulating social events".
In our culture we lack social senstivity and when we are socially aware of certain differences or weaknesses, we confuse social sensitivity with hypocracy. It actually occurred to me to write about this issue after a personal incident that happened with me last week in the US. While spending time with some friends, there was a guy whom I met for the first time and who is a friend of a friend. After chatting a bit about certain issues, I asked the following question: Did you finish your studies here or back in your country of origin? To me and to many of you this might seem a normal question to ask. However, after the guy left, my friend told me that this is an insensitive question to ask. GUESS WHY?
I assumed that the guy had finished his studies and of course my question got him uncomfortable cause he did not. Although I have been practicing my social sensitivity for a long time now but still I made a mistake that could have been avoided if I just gave my conversation a bit more of a thought. It is very common in our culture to ask the following questions which are all based on assumptions; for example
Many might say,oh you don't have to take it that far but actually you do. In our society as well, people don't like this kind of questions but most of them developed a defense mechanism towards this kind of behavior that covers intimidation when facing such incidents. Some others might not care due to indifference about the requested information and due to somewhat social acceptance of certain weaknesses.
Social senstivity though is an important component of social awareness where one uses one's judgement in order not to say or do what would hurt, embarass and make someone uncomfortable during social interaction. In other words, to put one's self in someone else's shoes before imposing a question or an action. In a study done by Professor Anita Woolley at University of Cernegie Mellon in Pittsburg Pennsylvania and published in New Scientist Journal, it has been proven that social senstivity trumps the general IQ of an interacting group and it plays an important role in group development that supersedes the benefit of the indivual's separate IQs. It actually contributes to higher IQ on the individual level when well practiced.
I assumed that the guy had finished his studies and of course my question got him uncomfortable cause he did not. Although I have been practicing my social sensitivity for a long time now but still I made a mistake that could have been avoided if I just gave my conversation a bit more of a thought. It is very common in our culture to ask the following questions which are all based on assumptions; for example
- Where did you finish your studies?
- When will you get married?
- How many kids do you have?
- Are you getting paid well?
Many might say,oh you don't have to take it that far but actually you do. In our society as well, people don't like this kind of questions but most of them developed a defense mechanism towards this kind of behavior that covers intimidation when facing such incidents. Some others might not care due to indifference about the requested information and due to somewhat social acceptance of certain weaknesses.
Although the correlation between civilized societies and socially sensitive societies is clear but being socially sensitive on the individual level is a contagious phenomena that spreads quickly and we should definitely work on that. Those who think it is easy to do, start it and let me know.
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